so the rundown is: - this person i ended up falling in love with, we got together because i sent her 'you're kind of cute' through an anonymous message thanks to an ask prompt because, well, i'm a wuss. i eventually revealed this was me and i offered to get to her know her better, which we ended up doing. i brought up her offer of being available and asked if we can be in a relationship. she thought it over for a couple of days, and she eventually asked if i can officially be her boyfriend, to of course i said yes - we're pretty mushy and affectionate towards each other, and i eventually say 'i love you'. she isn't sure how to react and says that, even though she appreciates it, she doesn't know if she feels that strongly about me, which i understand and tell her accordingly. to this day it does not seem like she does - both her job and full-time college started, and since then she's been incredibly busy and any attempts to talk to her seriously ended in her being zoned out due to exhaustion. any real signs of affection from her are essentially non-existent. we have had movie dates over skype, and has not gotten past the second one due to lack of time on her end - i've been showing her all sorts of affection, even if they aren't returned. since she also encouraged me to be open with this stuff, i have also expressed a lot of sexual interest in her as well. she has said in a fairly recent message that she does not love easy, and i'm not really sure what that means here - she has had a history of self-harm, and as of a couple of weeks ago she has apparently relapsed. it sounds like it is getting worse by the day. i have absolutely no experience with helping people with this, especially a significant other. during these couple of weeks, she has not been on skype at all, and i'm afraid of bothering her by messaging her on tumblr. tonight i said enough was enough and sent her a message amounting to 'we need to talk about some things' - sometime after december (after she is done with college), we are planning to meet. this will amount to things like taking a trip around town, renting a hotel room, watchin movies/playing games, fooling around with each other on the couch and eventually getting -very- intimate i.e. BDSM is involved in the equation. i'm beginning to wonder if she'll at least partially return to her old self with all that weight off of her shoulders, or if she simply doesn't feel anything/care about me anymore and that explains what i'm getting here i.e. totally nothing - a couple of friends are getting into relationships saying how great it is to be loved and whenever i read things like that and think of my current situation it hits me fucking hard to the point where i'm in a foul mood for an hour or two before i eventually forget, because i don't think i'm getting that here. - in the event that we must separate, i have made it clear that i will be fine because she is, to me, also a good friend and us not being 'together' anymore does not mean we have to completely abandon each other. it just means that we don't 'belong' together in that sense. and after all the experiences i've had in the past, i'm absolutely prepared for this worst-case scenario.